Releasing Ourselves from The Stranglehold of Emotions.



At the core and center of all relationship problems lie strong and overwhelming emotions such as fear, low self esteem, unpleasant emotions such as jealousy, feeling abandoned, feeling hurt, feeling unlovable, feeling trapped, feeling desperate, feeling unloved.

If there weren't any emotions involved, there wouldn't be such a thing as a relationship problem at all - this is important to note and to remember.

After all, if a single man wasn't afraid of rejection and the painful emotions this creates, he could just chat up one woman after another, 40 a night, every night, until one finally said "Yes please!"

If a battered woman wasn't low, depressed, unhappy, scared, and worst of all, probably still in love with the guy in question, she would probably be able to pick up and leave.

So first of all, sit back for a moment and consider what the worst problem are (or the things that cause you to feel the worst, to use different words) and either write it down or make a mental note. I've put the probable corresponding emotions in brackets, but it's the statements that count. Do this now.

Examples could be:

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He is driving me crazy with his womanizing (anger!)
I can't stand her company any more (repulsion, rejection)
She doesn't even know that I exist (sadness, anger, helplessness)
I'm sure he's having an affair (fear, terror, anxiety, panic)
I don't trust her anymore (hurt, anger)
This relationship is killing me (depression, sadness, fear)
I can't find anybody to love me (hopelessness, sadness)
I'm not good enough to be loved (hopelessness)

When you can remove bad feelings, two things happen.

The first is that your body says, "Thank you VERY much!" and you're less likely to be suffering from headaches, heart attacks, skin rashes, sleeplessness and all kinds of other problems.

The second thing is that you get to think clearly again. This is especially important when there are decisions to be made, such as should I continue with this relationship, or should I get out and start afresh? That's not all though. When your inborn common sense can get to work and is no longer overwhelmed by all these overpowering emotions, you can often also find that new ideas turn up, different ideas as to how you can deal with the situation before you. It gives you a whole new level of confidence!

Beliefs About The World

You can just treat your relationship pains with EFT and all is well. However, you can use it for more than that.

For examples, beliefs such as, "All men are bastards" have a nasty habit of becoming absolutely true for those who believe it, whilst the nice men pair off with the women who believe that "I will find a nice man who loves me and makes me feel wonderful at every street corner!".

Similarly, beliefs such as "Nobody loves me", "I'm too ugly to be lovable", "I'll never find a decent partner", "Only model perfect people can have a lover" and so forth are superb reality creators as well as being very very depressing to ponder on at any length.

You can change these beliefs with EFT just as well as you can release bad feelings, because these are linked with feeling bad.

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Relationships